Thoughts On Living A Creative Life
“To live for art (vissi d’ arte, vissi d’ amore, as Callas sings in Puccini’s Tosca, is to live a life of questioning. And if you believe as I do, that to live for art demands that every other part of life be moved towards one end, then the question
‘How shall I live?’ is fierce.”
Jeanette Winterson
With a cup of chai in hand and Orchestral Suite Nu. 3 in D Major by Johan Bach playing in the background I found myself in front of my bookshelf this morning. An almost spiritual experience, as my hands lightly brushed across the spines of old books on my shelf, and found myself opening pages that were underlined, highlighted, tattered and falling out of the binding. Pages that had once inspired me so deeply towards living a life dedicated to the miraculous, to discover new subtle, frequencies of emotion, experience, and authenticity.
This last year was a long ride in an uncomfortable seat of the reminder that things are out of our control. Sometimes this sense, this loss of control is thrilling; but mostly it's terrifying. To love is to automatically be connected to loss, and you can't control when the loss will come. Partly you enjoy what comes your way, then other times you don’t. Often you get what you want, other times the scale tips in the opposite direction.
Yet despite this field of surrender and unknowing, Karma is not some mystical theory, it is a force that blows through the world like wind. Therefore, we have to learn the consequences of our actions. This is karma. No one can escape it from any amount of inaction or disbelief in it.
We do indeed, reap what we sow.
Great writers like Jeanette Winterson remind me that with the utmost concentration, our energy and attention can be utilized to create from our highest potential.
While the external world carries on, the choices I make are in my control and no one else’s. They create the possibility for presence and connection in my day-to-day living that will further allow me to use my creativity for inspiration, for positive change amidst a world that at times seems to be stuck, still, in the dark ages.
Which begs the question miss Winterson reminded me of in her book this morning.
How Shall I Live?
Events will continue to happen that will shake us to our core. At times we might feel a sense of loss of hope for humanity; as we stand in shock at what is taking place in our world.
But the creative spark that lies within each of us calls for something else. It doesn’t ask us to deny that chaos and darkness exists in the world, but it demands that we return our attention to the things in life that inspire us because it knows that those things are the true forces of gravity.
Nothing is gained by bemoaning the mistakes or events of the past. Oh what could have been or should have been, what I could have done. Neither is anything gained from turning to negative outlets as a way of coping with the stress of the world.
What remains forever true is how we live today, how we choose to use all of our energy, our willpower, our intelligence, and channel it into the understanding that the world needs your heart and your spark now more than ever.
Our parents need us to shine, our children need us for hope, and our peers need us for compassion and inspiration.
Creativity is the unseeable force that surrounds our lives with beauty, inspiration, and richness. It might seem bizarre to be connecting Ayurveda to the Arts; but learning how to live life with grace and awareness is a creative force, something which is alive and ever changing as we are ever changing with our environment. Then we can use our wellspring of energy and do our dharma, or our purpose, with clarity and unswerving perseverance.
Today, I could have settled into sadness, or anger, or worry. But reading the words of Winterson’s prose filled me with the best kind of clarity. The kind that ignited the creative sparks that had been flickering softly, faintly, deep down in the depths of my imagination- the soft warm glow still lit amidst a world in turmoil, still burning among the responsibilities of adult life and uncertainty of the future.
How shall I live?
Today, I will feel the connection of my feet upon the earth,
these words in my hands, and compassion in my heart.
In other words, I shall live fiercely.
